The Secret Door of Love and Overwhelm

On 6 December 2024, I was diagnosed with stage four incurable bowel cancer. It was a moment that changed everything, but not in the way I expected.

When you go through life, you know you’re loved. You feel it from family, from friends, from the people who are always there. You appreciate it. You’re grateful for it. But I didn’t realise that there’s a sort of invisible ceiling on that love, one you don’t even know exists until something truly life-changing happens.

After my diagnosis, I started telling people, family, close friends, then my wider circle. That’s when something incredible happened. It was like a secret door opened, and on the other side was a level of love and support I had never felt before. People I hadn’t spoken to since school were reaching out. Old colleagues, distant friends, and even people I barely knew were messaging, calling, and sharing stories about how I had impacted their lives.

I’ve always felt supported and known I was loved, but this was something else. It was overwhelming in the best way, even euphoric. For two days, I just smiled. I couldn’t believe how many people cared. Even now, thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

I later found out that there’s actually a name for this kind of experience. It’s called post-traumatic growth, where something traumatic happens, but instead of just feeling crushed by it, you find new strength, deeper connections, and a fresh perspective on life.

There’s also this idea called kama muta, a fancy term for feeling suddenly and deeply moved by love. You get that warm, tingling sensation when you feel truly connected to people, and that’s exactly what I felt.

And then there’s something called the Scrooge effect, where people become more generous, open, and connected when reminded of life’s fragility. Maybe that’s why so many people reached out. Maybe they saw my news and felt a need to say something, to share a memory, to remind me that I mattered to them.

Whatever the reason, this experience shattered the ceiling of love I thought existed. It showed me there’s so much more love out there than we realise. Sometimes, it just takes something big to open that secret door.

If there’s one thing I’ve taken from this, it’s that we don’t have to wait for a tragedy to tell people how much they mean to us. If someone has impacted your life, tell them. If you care about someone, show them. When that secret door opens, it feels like nothing else. And maybe, just maybe, we can start opening it for each other before life forces it open for us.