The Day We Never Knew We Needed

The 23rd of March was my wife’s birthday. But it became much more than that, it turned into a day we’ll never forget. We renewed our vows, surrounded by family, love, and more emotion than I ever expected.

Originally, we had planned to organise the day ourselves. But the truth is, when you’re handed a life-changing diagnosis, even something as beautiful as planning a celebration feels too much. At the time, we were at the beginning of our journey. Everything felt uncertain, the short term, the long term, all of it. I didn’t know how I’d respond to chemo or what each week would bring. So trying to plan something meaningful felt almost impossible.

That’s when my sister-in-laws stepped in, along with a few others in the family. They said they wanted to take it all off our hands. “You two sit back, do nothing, and let us take care of it.”

At first, it was hard to let go. I’ve wanted things to be low-key. I didn’t want anything too big or over the top. I imagined something small in the back garden, just a few close family members, nothing extravagant. But something changed when I stepped back and let them take over.

They created a day that neither of us knew we needed. And it turned out to be perfect.

The setting was beautiful. Creams and whites everywhere, everything thoughtful, simple, and elegant. Everyone looked amazing. But more than how it looked, it was about how it felt. It was full of love, laughter, connection, and calm. It was the kind of day where you find yourself trying to soak in every second so you never forget it. My daughter said she didn’t want the day to end!

There was a moment when our six-year-old daughter got up and sang in front of everyone. No nerves, no fear, just confidence and joy. I sat there watching her, and I felt something shift. She is going to remember this day. We all will.

My wife said it first, “Today will be a core memory.” And she was right.

What I realised was that this day, which I had hesitated about, became one of the most important of our lives. It wasn’t just about our vows or my health or even the occasion. It was about family. It was about being present. It was about making memories.

When you’re facing something like this, it’s easy to hold back. You tell yourself now’s not the time, or maybe it’s too much, or maybe people are only doing it because of what you’re going through. But the truth is, this journey teaches you to grab every moment you can. You celebrate when you can. You make memories when you can. You don’t wait for the perfect moment. You make the most of the ones you’ve got.

There’s something powerful about letting go of control. About trusting others. About giving yourself permission to enjoy something even when life feels uncertain. The day reminded me that even when things are hard, even when things feel unknown, joy is still there.

And sometimes, the best days are the ones you didn’t expect, the ones you didn’t plan, the ones that simply unfold with love at the centre of them.

So if you’re going through something, let people in. Let them help. Let them love you. Let them create a day you didn’t know you needed. Because those days matter more than we think.

And when they come, don’t rush them.

Let them stay a little longer.

Let them become the memories that carry you.